The first letter he answered was from a woman whose husband wanted to watch her have sex with another man, a request she fulfilled. Watching your wife have sex with another man may be a next step, or progression, from watching yourselves have sex by having a mirror on the ceiling during sex, then using a video camera during sex, and then finally watching one's spouse with someone else. Ryan and Savage's responses normalized the desire and behavior, suggesting that the husband was heterosexual, and was driven by the biological impetus of sperm competition , and voyeurism. I will tell you that in the research for my book, I heard lots of varied reasons for this desire from various husbands. Sometimes, the husbands were very concerned about being seen as heterosexual, but they spent an awful lot of time looking for well-endowed men for their wife. Check out Craigslist, and you'll see Leopold's modern counterparts Leopold's interest in the experience was specifically the humiliation aspects, of being cuckolded, treated as weak, lesser, and not a real man. In England, men would sometimes set up their wives to be seduces by a man, so that the husband could then sue the man in court.
A friend, and a wife interviewed in my first book, told me that when she was working as a manager at a brothel, one of the women always called her husband on her cellphone, before bringing a man back to her room for a "party. Sometimes, bringing a man to bed with the wife was a pretext, a bait and switch if you will, for the husband to then engage sexually with the man as well. Many of the men I interviewed got a thrill, a sense of being "king" that they had a wife who was so sexy, that other men wanted to be with, but who ultimately came home with him, the husband. But, as she described the enjoyment her husband had at watching her and having "after" sex with her, with the other man's ejaculate inside her, the wife became concerned that maybe her husband was gay. Leopold posted ads in German newspapers of the day, looking for "energetic young men" to befriend and pleasure his wife. Many of the men expressed that through their wife's open sexuality, the couple was actively and consciously rejecting social pressures to suppress female sexuality, assert monogamy and patriarchal power. To my mind, a man who is that focused on the size of other men's penises really doesn't qualify as all that straight. It's a great read, and a wonderful plug for Ryan's new book, Sex at Dawn. Check out Craigslist, and you'll see Leopold's modern counterparts Leopold's interest in the experience was specifically the humiliation aspects, of being cuckolded, treated as weak, lesser, and not a real man. Nearly every couple I interviewed told me that after an episode of the wife having sex with another man, the couple felt like they were "in heat. It might happen, but it's a lesser answer than all of the above. The first letter he answered was from a woman whose husband wanted to watch her have sex with another man, a request she fulfilled. Per Sherfey's research, women have documented as many as orgasms in a single hour. After watching their wife with another man, the husband is prompted biologically to have longer, more vigorous sex, has a shorter refractory period between erections, ejaculates harder, and his ejaculate contains more sperm. This played out in many different dynamics. Ryan and Savage's responses normalized the desire and behavior, suggesting that the husband was heterosexual, and was driven by the biological impetus of sperm competition , and voyeurism. Many men told me "My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me, I'd rather watch her having sex than some porn actress I don't know. Hopefully through their partnership, Christopher Ryan opened Savage's eyes to the wide range of other explanations. I also speculate that there is a degree of vicarious experience here - by being a part of the experience, the husband gets to vicariously experience what it's like to have that greater sexual capacity, and identifies in a strong manner with his wife and the essence of female sexuality in a way that most men never experience. In England, men would sometimes set up their wives to be seduces by a man, so that the husband could then sue the man in court. Some of these men talked about treating the wife as a whore, as a piece of meat, and "taking her down a peg. If they are used to such a voyeuristic process in their sexuality, there is some legitimacy to suggesting they may incorporate it into their marital sexuality. In Florida, in the 's, the Sheriff husband of the "Housewife Hooker" hid in the closet videotaping his "nymphomaniac wife" with other men notably republican politicians , whom the husband then blackmailed. I think a discussion of this phenomenon deserves consideration of all the reasons and motivations. It made the men feel powerful and successful, that they had such a sexy wife. This might sometimes, though very, very rarely. In my book, I encountered a single man who described this scenario.
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