Eventually she too cracks under the strain, and ends up confined to the hospital bed next to her husband. They've started penning subtly erotic reviews in the hopes of tricking some simple handyman into agreeing that it was helpful. For every Nigerian Prince, every subscription wall, every online convenience fee, there are 10 more people who aren't asking for any money at all and who just want to help you find the best electrical appliance to hump. Their patience threshold is enviable. But I did find some bizarre trends among the people who like to fuck stuff with an engine, and I at least want to share those with you. Advertisement 4 They Are All MacGyvers of Engineering If Amazon reviews are indicative of the sex machine community at large, those are exactly the type of people you want around if you ever need to escape a hostage situation with only two paperclips and an apple corer. They customize their rides with such regularity that I'm curious why our country keeps complaining about a shortage of female engineers. Continue Reading Below Continue Reading Below Advertisement I have never planned anything as far in advance as these people have planned to hump an electric dildo saw.
The poor tool purists try their hardest to ignore the sex toy reviews, like they're hoping that if no one says anything, the perverts might all just dissolve into the ether like a fart. For every Nigerian Prince, every subscription wall, every online convenience fee, there are 10 more people who aren't asking for any money at all and who just want to help you find the best electrical appliance to hump. Once you see that phrase in another context — in this case, the film title 7 Hari 24 Jam — it all makes a bit more sense. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Naturally, the limitless power of the human imagination has ensured that for everything in the world that rumbles, thrusts, or spins, someone has figured out how to fuck it. Continue Reading Below Continue Reading Below Advertisement It's so important to that guy that you know he used this tool for cleaning grout that he says it four times in one paragraph. Each earnest review on the adapter's product page about how great it was at removing kitchen grout is buried under five more reviews of how hard it made someone cum. Continue Reading Below Advertisement As a pretend journalist, I sensed some greater cultural significance hidden in the cracks of all those sex machine reviews, and after reading every single one that Amazon has to offer, I can now say with total confidence that, no, there is not. The creativity they display when fixing or adapting one of the machines so it pounds genitals better is downright inspiring. If you wanted to generalise on the nature of Indonesian film based on these two examples, you could pick up on the use of product placement, with KFC being to Salah Bodi what medical insurance is to 7 Hari 24 Jam. Either they are comedic geniuses, or they are suffering from sitcom levels of obliviousness. But also, both films end with a moral message literally displayed onscreen as the final caption: It allows wood workers, carpenters, and home improvement specialists to attach different blades, sanders, files, and brushes to a reciprocating saw, essentially turning one tool into about six. As I prepared to spend a week in Jakarta for work, I wondered: You don't know where it's been. Most of these people sound like they could put a car engine together blindfolded. I was amazed to see that even in a massive online store, where real names and purchases and recommended products are attached to every profile right out in the light where everyone can see, not even the risk of utter humiliation outweighs the human desire to lend a hand. Not a single one of them is an off-the-shelf masturbator. Director Sys NS a man with a fascinatingly diverse past as a DJ, actor and politician has put together a comedy with an almost Shakespearean attitude to gender confusion. Maybe it seems intuitive that the same people who have sex with machines would be gear heads, but this extends beyond a casual enthusiasm. Continue Reading Below Continue Reading Below Advertisement I have never planned anything as far in advance as these people have planned to hump an electric dildo saw. Tyo Lukman Sardi is a film director with a short temper, Tania Dian Sastrowardoyo is something or other in finance. To me, it feels like a betrayal of everything the characters have done up to that point — but to a local audience, of course, it may be something else entirely. But easily the most surprising takeaway from these reviews is the staggering amount of care owners put into their sex toy before each individual use. Advertisement 4 They Are All MacGyvers of Engineering If Amazon reviews are indicative of the sex machine community at large, those are exactly the type of people you want around if you ever need to escape a hostage situation with only two paperclips and an apple corer. Now look at the related items section: More importantly, Amazon offers customer reviews for each one of those sex machines, because even though it may not always feel like it, the Internet runs on altruism.
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