Or at least that's what their ads say. You tell me you're straight, so I believe you. And you seek out whatever you can find I guess. Some would argue it is. All children explore and experiment sexually as part of normal development. I don't think there's anything disgusting about me or my sexual and romantic history, nor about other people whether they identify as queer, bisexual , gay , lesbian , questioning or otherwise or as heterosexual; whether they do or do not have same-sex experiences and relationships in their history. While I would encourage you to take a look at any homophobia you might have in general, because I'm not of the mind that anything based in bias makes for great criteria when it comes to fulfilling relationships, if you have a criteria that's about only wanting to be with someone both heterosexual and who has never, ever had any same-sex sexual experiences, you absolutely get to have that criteria. Looking at the guide to being a straight ally at this site might also help you unpack some of your feelings and start to recognize misconceptions.
Men are often particularly vulnerable: It might help to remember that he is the same person you have known and cared about throughout, with this part of his past a part of who he is and was before you knew about it. The culturally acceptable forms of masculinity involve being straight, so men whose sexualities are not so clear-cut threaten the social order and the masculine-feminine binary. He is also married and has a son. Most of us want to be in intimate relationships where we feel accepted, rather than where we have to work to earn someone's acceptance we're close to, so when he knows how you feel, he may feel more comfortable pursuing serious relationships with someone who doesn't have that bias right from the start. Dispute this all you want, make claims of biblical proportions, but it is a well documented fact that man-on-man sex is not new. Orgasm is neither a valid proof or lack of proof about our feelings for people. When we first began talking he said most people would consider him bisexual; however, he has no desire to be in a relationship with another man. In a discussion on The Huffington Post, one Canadian man talked about how he is a straight man who enjoys sex with other men. Does his previous experience make you feel uncomfortable, insecure or threatened in your own gender? I understand and know that negative attitudes about others are often learned when people are very young, without the information or filter to know them to be biased, and that unlearning them can take some real effort and time. If that's the case, then moving away from this relationship is probably your best bet, I'd just be sure to do your partner a good turn and be honest that this isn't just about his past experience, but about other feelings you've had. What we can say based on what we know so far, is that sexuality is a unique trait that differs, sometimes greatly, from one individual to another. Again, we all get to have our own criteria for what we want in relationships. That's a big barrier to both of you feeling good about yourselves and each other. For him, that is what he says makes him straight. It tends to be the time when people start to try and figure out who they are sexually and what they might want in sexual relationships. Some people think of relationships as having only two settings: Whether or not you want to continue this relationship, whether or not you can currently handle his sexual history doesn't make you a good or a bad person in my book. In other words, unless he told you he had no partners at all before, or told you he'd given you his whole sexual history when he had left this out, this isn't about his having done anything wrong. Before you can talk to him about your feelings, and have a sense of what choice is going to be best for you in this, you're going to need to know what those feelings are and have a grip on where they're coming from. It seems to primarily be about a bias you have, and likely fears stemming from it. There's no right or wrong in any of those scenarios, just ways we're all different as people, living different lives with different opportunities, experiences and arcs. Some people have a very strong sense of what their orientation is from childhood through adulthood: To go from being WAY into someone and loving them deeply to radically different feelings because of something in the past like like this is a huge change, so if you have had that kind of massive shift, it may be it's less of a shift than you thought, if you catch my drift. This relationship may or may not be the place for working your feelings out:
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